Oh geez. Today was a strange day. I had a doctor appointment late morning and was going to swing through Panera for a salad, but there were no parking spaces available. So rather than park across the street and play chicken with the oncoming traffic, I opted to return to work to eat out of my "work pantry." As I type this, i am just now remembering that I have a can of soup and a Barilla microwaveable meal in my "work pantry." Both would have been excellent options at around 320 calories. Sigh.
I get back to work and obviously didn't evaluate my inventory very well, because I made a meal out of dried fruit and pita chips. Yes, I did. Not the worst choice, but definitely a far cry from the best. The dried fruit is wicked awesome. I only wish it wasn't sweetened dried fruit. It is a tropical mix with mango, papaya, pineapple, kiwi and coconut. I thank my sister in law for making me try it the other day. I would also like to point out that the bag of pita chips was down to those crumbs that really feel like you aren't eating anything because you are eating two or three pinches of crumbs at a time. I was so hungry that I almost picked the bag up and dumped it in my mouth, but I didn't. After having my fingertips covered in my own slobber from my feeding frenzy, I gave up and threw the bag away. Sigh.
For breakfast, I had a cup of dry fruity Cheerios followed by edamame in the pods. Let me tell you, mix that with the dried fruit and you will turn into a gassy mess with a capital "g" and there is hardly anything cool about that. To paint the picture, I keep my cell phone in my pocket of my hooded sweatshirt. While at work, it is on vibrate. Today, I probably took my phone out 20 times because I thought I felt it vibrate. Nope, just the rumblings in my tummy.
As I was getting ready to leave work today, a gas bubble was knocking on my back door. I held it in until I got to my car. I get in my car and get myself in a position to fart on leather seats and apparently, I also had to pee. Yup, I wet my pants. In my car. In the parking lot at work. Nice. I had to hustle home, change my clothes and go pick Ty up. Yup, I just let you all know this. Even nicer.
The lesson in today's blog post is if you are going to eat a lethal combination of fiber, do the ozone layer a favor and follow it up with a Gas-Ex chaser. Call it dessert if you will.
Signing off for now, to all of you near and far and to those of you that missed the part when I said I would talk about farts, until next time...
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