Mom jeans and my butt crack

Let me paint you a picture: Over a year ago, Tyson was getting used to drinking milk instead of formula. I had recently begun working out again due to the incredible muffin top/post c-sect belly I was STILL sporting. Brett had just left to go help our brother in law with something and Ty and I had just settled down to watch Mickey before he went to bed. He was drinking milk.

Tyson was on my lap, Dutch and Ru were on the floor, Ru at my feet in front of the recliner. I am relaxing, enjoying the glorious moment of a freshly bathed boy and having a little quiet time. I hear this rumble like I have never heard before, like a truck rolling up the street at a high rate of speed. No, this was closer, much closer, like a dog puking, I look around, no one puking. Then I remember the little boy in my arms, it was he making that noise. Milliseconds later, milk vomit EVERYWHERE.

Everyone is stunned except for black, 80 pound Ruca whom is covered in the lovely dairy gift from Tyson. It was like he aimed for her back. The whole left side of my body was covered.

Panicked, I call my parents to come help the situation. I had to banish puke-a-Ruca to the garage until reinforcements arrived.

My parents arrived, I handed Ty off to my mom to change and calm him down. I had my dad help me to hose puke-a-Ruca off in the front yard with frigid hose water. I could see my breath it was that cold out. As my dad is helping to corral Puka, I am bending over scrubbing my baby girl as fast and as furious as Vin Diesel or Paul Walker, pick your poison. All of a sudden, I feel my pants being hiked up. That would be my dad's doing. He said, "I just couldn't look at your ass crack hanging out anymore, T." thanks for having my back, dad. Literally.

Fast forward to about a month ago when I'm over at my parents' house bending over putting my boots on. My dad walks in and says, "Trish! Your butt isn't hanging out anymore!" I broke the news to him, "dad, I had to buy 'mom jeans' after you were yanking my pants up." His response was a deep belly laugh similar to that of Uncle Buck.

The good news is that I am going to have to replace my mom jeans soon. Don't worry, I'll leave the demi-jeans alone and stick with full coverage. I'm old enough.

Signing off for now. To all of you near (including my jean hiking dad) and far, until next time...